Strange Things In My Brain

Posted 11 Dec 2011 — by alannalin
Category Uncategorized

There is a pain in the brain that begins
When we come out the drain
And by that I mean, momma. . .

Phew.  Weird times.  All sorts of upheaval, and yet this pervading sense of calm.  Today someone at Calarts asked me if I sang “full-time” — I was confused for a second.  No, I don’t sing full-time, I admitted.  I sing. . . part-time.  I reflected on this, then I said, I sing ANYTIME.  It was a nice 30 second sequence where I started with the automatic / shame thing, moved to the truth thing, and then just started laughing. Mostly to myself, like a regular weirdo.

I’ve been working on a new record.  It was recorded a long time ago — at least the instrumentalists, the band — back in 08, when everything in my life started a dramatic morphing process that felt very much like being abused with a large stick.  I used overdraft checks to pay for studio time at Raymond Richards’ Rockets Red Glare.  We had a marvelous time.  I was having an out-of-body experience.  I had taken up smoking cigarettes to feel a basic sense of will and motivation.  I just remember my time with the very ripe, inside-of-the-mouth colored figs that were hanging from a tree growing in the back of the property.  They were such extremist figs.  Explosive, whore figs.  And then inside the studio was the stable quartet of men who were helping me record the thing.  MC, my ever faithful friend who has since fallen in love with a dog, I’m not speaking of his incredible girlfriend here, but an actual dog.  RP who is heavy and trustworthy with stick, JM who is like an angel moving over flat stones along a brook on bass.   ME came by and did some charming things as is his style. . .and RR proffered the creative space and environment and world of good sounds that we lived in for a few days.

-Outside lately there are what sounds like planes flying next to my window.  It’s a little disturbing to have that roar build up the way it does.-

Distracted.

My point is not to write about the past.  But about the present.  This discovery about the difference in myself then and now.  In 2008, I couldn’t deliver in the studio.  We recorded vocals — but they were missing something.  In addition, something was not compatible about my vocal range and the songs I had allowed my band-mates to choose.  As it were the whole album retired to a hard-drive while I tended to other more pressing matters.

3 years later. . .I love the idea that the pain of existence might add a few notes to your vocal range in both directions.  It’s cheaper / more organic than surgery.  It brings me to my closing point (which was supposed to be my opening point)– that what we consider pain is really a series of perceptions potentially more exhilarating that we might allow.  Things like having to pee, being so cold you shiver, being burned by your toaster oven — these things are all material facts.  However, there’s a whole series of judgments that we often overlay on simple physical / existential / circumstantial developments that fixes and limits our sense of experience.

I decided to take a very wet walk around the pool today.  I thought, instead of thinking, IT’S SO COLD I CAN’T TAKE IT THIS SUCKS THIS IS HORRIBLE IT’S HORRIBLE TO BE SO COLD I thought I would just breathe and walk and pay attention.  It was a rather tingly experience.  Less cold than I expected, but more like silver machetes sliding over my ribcage.  That was what was neat!  By not defaulting to the first set of judgements, I ended up experiencing the cold in a strangely new way.  It was still cold, but it was so much more. . .fun?

So. . .for example.  Instead of my heart is broken this sucks it’s so horrible the pain the pain. . .I think it might feel more like my baby acorn is crushed and the birdy inside it with wet wings has no food, and my turtle of hope can’t swim up.

Which is. . .the beginning of a twisted children’s book.

Happy to report that I’m not heartbroken, and that was truly just an example.

With love,

Alanna Lin

Occupy A Vision

Posted 09 Dec 2011 — by
Category Uncategorized

Chairmeowww reflects upon domestic improvements. Meaning, the domestic USA. itunes.apple.com

The Sneezing Man

Posted 09 Dec 2011 — by alannalin
Category Uncategorized

Outside of my humble abode
There is a man with a cold
Though I can’t see him
He’s audibly sneezing
As if with a snout full of mold

The courtyard does amplify grace
But also does broadcast disgrace
He sounds like a heifer
In terrible weather
Blowing his face off his face

Dear God, why has he no manners?
As youth did no mother him love?
What drives him to cast out his demons
In public, as snot and mucus?

By morning, in scant peace and quiet
I sip of my morning cup
But then Brutus, the wizard of tonsils
Does belch, burp, cough, sneeze, and hiccup

The force of his exhalations
Like cannonball, airhorn, and turd
Makes of my morning reflections
Mince-eyed, most bitter, perturbed.

Curtains Not Method 11.21.2011

Posted 22 Nov 2011 — by
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Chairmeowww reflects upon domestic improvements. Music by JC Wegman and Mindy Chiu itunes.apple.com

Curtains Not Method 11.21.2011

Posted 22 Nov 2011 — by
Category Uncategorized

Chairmeowww reflects upon domestic improvements. Music by JC Wegman and Mindy Chiu itunes.apple.com

Nov21CurtainsNotMethod

Posted 22 Nov 2011 — by
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Chairmeowww reflects upon domestic improvements. Music by JC Wegman and Mindy Chiu itunes.apple.com

The Nature of Forgiveness = A Breakfast Date

Posted 16 Oct 2011 — by alannalin
Category Uncategorized

After much gnawing and maybe a little reflection. . .I think forgiveness is about recognizing that all parties that one encounters in this life are like you — on a journey, where they will, like you, make mistakes, and to hope for them good change and growth, that with any luck / grace they will not have to make the same bad choice again and again.  Injury resulting from someone’s error in judgement is kind of inevitable.  What feels much worse is harboring hatred, ill-will, and generally, a lack of love or compassion for a person who has done (you) wrong.

If you can view the person who might otherwise be seen as an enemy as a not-yet-friend, but a friend-in-process. . .you’ve forgiven them.  Which is not to say you will brunching together anytime soon, but at least the possibility exists.

The Necessity of a Manicure

Posted 16 Oct 2011 — by alannalin
Category Uncategorized

Oh grody cuticles.

There’s something about mangy hands that have always served as a source of pride for me.  At least up until recent years.  As a kid, we took piano lessons so we always had to keep our fingernails short.  This meant, inelegant, but highly active hands.  Polish was for dummies who attended to superficial cosmetic goals.

But when I think about polish and nail color as an objection to death, to the growth of moss over the face and fingertips, I think it really does serve to enliven the spirit.  I think we need reminders that to persist towards beauty, to slough off weary greyed skin-cells, symbolic of wearying habits, is in effect a nod at fleeting perfection which is all there is in this life.  I also like the idea of being hospitable to passing beams of sunlight that might wish to raise a gleam from my fingertips. . .It’s not a waste of money that could be better spent on car insurance.

Car insurance gives one a vague sense of rape and comfort that in a catastrophic event, you’ll end up with a slightly reduced bill.

Mani-pedicures give one the sense that the world is vibrating harmoniously, especially if the salon you go to has really nice massage chairs.

For this excess, Lord, I give you thanks.

Amen.

Sincerely,

Alanna Lin

Protected: Reflections From the North Pole

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Posted 11 Oct 2011 — by alannalin
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Pre Ciclavia!

Posted 09 Oct 2011 — by
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This video was uploaded from an Android phone.